FF18: In Your Bright Blue Eyes
by shannyfish
Summary: Oliver struggles to keep Felicity safe and to figure out his emotions as far as Felicity is concerned. For SmoaknArrow's Olicity Flash Fiction Prompt #18: Free Fall. Sequel to FF#8: No Light, No Light.


_You are the hole in my head_

_You are the space in my bed_

_You are the silence in between_

_What I thought and what I said_

_You are the night time fear_

_You are the morning when it's clear_

_When it's over you're the start_

_You're my head, you're my heart_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_~ "No Light, No Light" by Florence & the Machine_

. . .

"John sleeps on the couch like a normal person," she told him sleepily. Her hand dropped, so that her fingers could run through his hair.

This was how things had gone for the last month. Felicity had told them that she was fine, but Oliver wasn't convinced. He'd talked to Walter. He hadn't told Felicity. That's one of the reasons he'd insisted on keeping their vigil. Oliver was expecting retaliation. He knew that she'd be upset with him because he had to tell Walter more than she'd want, but Walter needed to know...and it was all he could do to go after him. Killing him wasn't an option, even though he thought about it every night.

He wished his name were on his list.

Joshua Randall.

If it were so easy...

"You told me that it made you feel safer…" Oliver pointed out as he turned to her, getting up on his knees. He was certain that he didn't need to put the unneeded pressure on them, but he wanted to look at her and he didn't want to overstep boundaries with Felicity. He'd told her to tell him if he did, but he didn't know if she would.

Felicity smiled at him, her eyes bright and happy. "It would make me feel better if you'd actually sleep when you spend the night," Felicity responded.

His hand cupped her cheek. "I just want to make sure you're okay," he whispered. Oliver wanted nothing more in the world than to protect her.

"You should just sleep with me," Felicity mumbled and then her eyes went wide. He just smiled as she rambled. "That's not exactly what I meant, I just meant-"

"Felicity, it's okay," Oliver assured. "Don't worry about me, I'll get a couple of hours later."

"But that's the thing, Oliver," she told him as she moved out of bed and crawled into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. He always let her come to him, he was too afraid of scaring her...of pushing too fast. But eventually, every morning, they'd end up like this...and he hated the mornings that he woke up in the Foundry instead of at her place. "I do care," she whispered into his ear.

He smiled and ran his hand through her hair. He remembered the first morning, she'd gone on about how horrible she had to look...how crazy her hair had to be...no make-up...and he hadn't seen any of that. Oliver had only seen the beautiful Felicity he always saw...and then the bruises. The colors had changed and dulled over time and had eventually just faded away. "I know," he eventually responded just as quietly. His arms wrapped loosely around her and he held her there for a moment.

"I should get ready for work," she whispered when she was ready to move.

He didn't want to let her go.

Somewhere over the last couple of years, he'd fallen in love with her.

Oliver didn't know how to undo that.

He wanted to.

Yet he didn't.

Love was something that meant so many things to him. It meant that the person he loved could be his strength, but also a weakness if used against him. They could be a distraction. They could potentially end up being hurt by him. Oliver didn't want to hurt Felicity. He also didn't feel like he deserved her. Felicity deserved someone so much better than him…

"I-"

Before he could argue, her fingers were against his lips and her lips were against his forehead. "It's okay, Oliver," she told him gently as she pulled away. "I'm used to working… I don't mind this job, either… Though," she told him as she got to her feet. "If my job position reopens at Queen Consolidated, I'm dropping this one in a heartbeat." Felicity smiled at him before disappearing into the bathroom.

Oliver sat there for a long minute. Eventually, he got to his feet and moved towards the kitchen. He needed to make coffee, a lot of coffee. He also was going to cook up something. He looked to the clock just to check on the time. Felicity had plenty of time for a shower, to get dressed, and to have breakfast before she had to leave.

. . .

While Felicity worked, he went to the Foundry. He wasn't sure how he was going to get Queen Consolidated back yet, he was waiting to hear back in regards to that. In the meantime, he focused on being the Arrow...sleeping when he could...and protecting Felicity. So, he'd taken the opportunity to sleep since he'd felt dead on his feet the moment he hit the bottom step into the Foundry.

Oliver didn't know how long he'd been asleep before he'd heard his name and her voice…

"Oliver! Oliver! Wake up!"

His eyes snapped open and he sat straight up. Oliver was panting, he realized as he looked up at her worried face. "I-"

"You were having a nightmare," she told him. Felicity took a step back and just stood there in silence.

Oliver suddenly remembered why he was panting, why his heart felt like it was going to pop out of his chest because it was beating so hard… He WAS having a nightmare. Felicity… He was trying to save her. He had her hand, but then she slipped away...she fell into complete darkness and there wasn't anything he could do to save her. He'd failed her. He raked his hand through his short hair and looked around for the time.

"It's almost six," Felicity told him. "Digg called… He said he tried to call you, but that you didn't pick up. Lyla's not feeling well, so I told him to stay home..." She was still staring at him with deep concern. "Maybe you should just come home with me...don't patrol tonight."

He shook his head. Oliver suddenly realized that his hands had begun to shake, he balled them up and got up from the cot that was his bed at the Foundry. This was the only home he had now. "I really need the air."

"Oliver?"

Looking right at her, he knew that she was still worried about him. He couldn't shake the nightmare and he couldn't tell her about it. He didn't want her to worry about him...anymore than she already was. "I don't think I've slept that long unless it was chemically induced since before the island…" he whispered as he stared at her.

Felicity reached out and ran her hand down his arm, her eyes still on his. Her bright blue eyes were so worried and he didn't know how to make her feel like he was really okay. "You obviously needed it…"

"Diggle's not going to be staying with you tonight then?" he asked after a beat.

Shaking her head, she bit her bottom lip before finally responding. "Lyla's practically ready to have that baby… It's not fair to them. Plus, I'll be fine… I have to sleep alone some time, right?" It took her a moment, but it was obvious that she realized the double meaning to her words. Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "I meant-"

"I know," he told her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her forehead. Oliver sighed. "Just not tonight, okay?"

"You were dreaming about me, weren't you?"

He tensed immediately, his whole body...including his jaw. He moved his jaw back and forth for a moment as he tried to figure out how he wanted to respond. Oliver didn't want to lie to her, but at the same time… "Yes," he finally whispered.

"Tell me…"

"Felicity-"

"It's just a dream, right? It wasn't real."

His hands ran down her arms and he stared at her. "It FELT real."

"But it WASN'T."

Oliver let out a sigh and he looked towards the ceiling. "All I remember…" He looked down at her, she was waiting. "Was that I was trying to save you. I had your hand...and it slipped from my grasp and you fell into darkness…"

Felicity looked worried. He didn't want that. "You can't always be there to save me."

"That's really not reassuring."

Reaching up, Felicity brushed the side of his face before kissing his cheek. "Suit up," she told him quietly. "Quick patrol. If it's quiet...we go back to my place for food. There's a new Thai food place down the street."

"Aren't you allergic to nuts?"

"You CAN get items that have no peanuts from a Thai place," Felicity reminded. "Like the place by Diggle's."

"Why don't we just go there?" he asked.

Felicity sighed. "It's good to try new things, Oliver."

He knew that he was a creature of habit, especially when it came to their evenings in the Foundry. They always ate at the same places. There was some comfort in them. "Okay," he said finally.

. . .

"Are you sure-"

"Go shower, Oliver!" Felicity called after him.

He had just brought a duffel bag of clothes to Felicity's. She had insisted that he do some laundry and that he showered. He needed both. Oliver stepped into her shower and wasn't a stranger there. It always brought a smile to his face, the feminine accents. He fiddled with the bottles and straightened them all, so he could read the labels. Oliver was turning the last bottle around, the shampoo, when he froze. A smile burst out across his face. Written on the bottle with sharpie was a message.

I bought you a bottle of shampoo. Use it.

He'd finally found it behind him in the corner of the shower. It was a men's brand and it was the kind that he normally used. Oliver didn't know how she knew that. She was Felicity, though… He was a little concerned about the amount of things that she could find out about everything and everyone.

It didn't take him long and he felt so much better that he'd showered. Oliver wrapped a towel around him, tucking it to keep it in place around his waist, after he'd toweled off and headed into Felicity's bedroom. His clean clothes were waiting for him on her bed. Oliver stopped for just a moment before running to her side, he dropped to his knees and immediately felt for a pulse. "Felicity…" he whispered and suddenly felt helpless. He flipped her, there were no obvious signs of injury. "Oh God…" he breathed when there was no pulse and no breath sounds. She'd been fine. He hadn't been in the shower for more than five minutes…

Oliver reached out and grabbed his cell phone long enough to call 9-11, tucked the phone between his shoulder and face, as he started CPR. "Come on, Felicity…" he whispered.

"9-1-1. What is your emergency?"

Oliver rattled off Felicity's address. "I was in the shower and I came out… My friend was on the floor, face down, she wasn't breathing… I've started CPR-"

"Sir, an ambulance is already en route."

It took Oliver a few beats until he really processed what she'd said. He dropped the phone and pressed the speaker button as he breathed air from his lungs into hers. He checked for a pulse. Nothing. He continued.

"Are you still there, Sir?"

The sound of sirens filled his ears as he continued the compressions. "Who called it in?"

"That's privileged information, Sir-"

"If someone else called it in, then they're the one who did this-"

"He said it was a peanut-"

He didn't even hear the rest of her words as he rushed back to the bathroom. Oliver had remembered seeing an epi pen. Felicity had even shown him where she kept them, just in case. They had a couple at the Foundry, just to be careful. They'd never had a problem with food though...and tonight the Thai...peanuts… He dropped back to her side, pulled the fabric of her skirt back, and pressed the epi pen into her outer thigh. "It's going to be okay," Oliver told her. He held it there for a few seconds before checking her vitals again.

The medics came in and Oliver remembered that the door had been locked… Sometime during his shower, the door had been unlocked and Felicity had eaten something with nuts. She still wasn't breathing and he started CPR again, he didn't want to waste precious seconds.

"How long have you been conducting CPR?" they asked as they took over.

"I just gave her the epi pen," Oliver told her and tried to remember. He picked up his phone and looked at the duration of the call. "One minutes and thirty seconds…"

"How long has she been unconscious?" the medic asked.

"I-I don't know," Oliver rambled.

"Two minutes," the operator responded.

Oliver knew that it was vital to get oxygen to the brain within three minutes… The medics quickly changed their tactics. He sat there in horror watching.

"Clear!"

Her body raised with the shock and he watched in relief as her body started to take in air on its own. Oliver didn't know what had happened, all he knew was that he almost lost her. He'd been so worrying about keeping her safe and he thought she was safe...safe at home...and he was only a few feet away...she could have died.

"Do you want to come with us?" the medic asked.

Oliver just nodded.

"Better put some pants on," the other responded.

It was a blur to him, he didn't even remember dressing. He was just in the ambulance, holding her hand, and staring down into her bright blue eyes. His emotions were overwhelming. Oliver hadn't felt this out of control in a long time. All he could think was that he loved her and that he could have lost her. "I love you, Felicity," he told her as he let tears fall.

Once he had her home and safe, he was going to find out exactly who had made that other 9-1-1 call. Oliver had a feeling that somehow Joshua Randall was behind it and he was going to figure out how to to take care of that threat. Oliver was going to ensure that he never hurt her...or threatened her life ever again.

No matter what.

Suddenly, Felicity's words: 'There has to be another way' popped into his head. Right now, he couldn't see another way. All he could think was that Randall was going to pay.

. . .

The End.


End file.
